Ain’t No Aphrodite

My DNA is flawed, I’m not a mate for Charlie Sheen.
He’s so dreamy and intense ya know what I mean

Don’t boil, don’t fry.
Bakin’ in an oven at three hundred and fifty degrees.

I’m a mess, a meltdown in the Sea of Japan
I’m a flurry of cotton in a den of dungarees

Skeet shootin’ with blood takers
When will I learn?

If the devil is in the details then
God must be in the brick that smashed me in the head.

I ‘m divinely imperfect and make absolutely no sense
Hey wait, I think, just maybe!

Marry me, Charlie Sheen, and have my baby!
But wait I forgot I am already married.

Hey, we could move to Utah where they look kindly on these things
but I think its more for geese than ganders but we’ll pull some strings.

I blaze in the Arctic and chill in the Equator.

Nothing left to say ‘cept Sheen ya later.

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